Friday, October 24, 2008
{ 8:52 AM }
like..
whoa.
its been long since
I've updated
this effing blog.
X:
got my results back.
was rather happy&contented.
(all except for Maths)
I told my Mum
my results, obviously.
she simply made matters worse.
so,
I cried
lah.
-.-
English: B3
Mathematics: B3-A2 (69.7)
Science: A2
Literature: B4
the rest not important X:
cause
they aiming Pure Science
for me.(remember this paragraph if you're
going to continue reading this post)
my Mum was like,
B3 ONLY?
(for my Maths)
when she had no idea
how hard I had cried in school
when I received my results.
my heart sank
ever so deep.
she made me seem as though
I'm stupid, good-for-nothing.
yes Mum,
I know I am.
but out of everyone in this world,
I'd rather NOT hear it from you
or Dad.
cause I'm the product of you&him.
&I was WITHIN you for about
10 MONTHS.(yes, I'm an overdue baby)
you made me hate myself.
more than ever.
I've lost all my self-esteem.
14 October 2008, Tuesday:Daniel.
♥is that enough
to tell you
that I got a new boyf.?
17 October 2008, Friday:Daniel.
♥is that enough
to tell you
that I broke up?
okay,
I seem like a bitch.
think what you like.
he was..
why am I explaining myself?
-.-
okay wth.
in short, he didn't trust me.
accuse me for being a
hongster20-22 October 2008, Monday-Wednesday:boring post-exams activity.
23 October 2008, Thursday:last day of school.
finally? yay?
wasn't really looking
forward
to the holidays.
I cried as I hugged
my classmates.
2E1`08 forever , simply the best :)
I love you peeps.
looking forward to 031108, 05-061108
when we meet again ;D
&other than that,
I'd be stuck at home
with Mum.
maybe not for the
first few weeks.
but..
for the next few weeks
&December,
I would.
&if I want to go out,
don't even think about it.
I want to make it last
while it can.
but..
I also got dance tranings
till school reopen.
cause we have to drill on SYF.
we're doing bout the great wall of China.
okay..
let's not go into that.
I got back my report book.
my final (overall) results for
the year:
English: B4
Mathematics: A2
Science: B4
Literature: B3
I know, my Science HUGE difference.
cause I slacked at the
first Semester.
I have myself to blame also
uhs.
so anyway,
when I got home
after my Science Centre
enrichment,
Mum was in the toilet.
then when she got out,
she requested to see my report book.
I told her later.
she told me to be quick
cause she wanted to pray.
then I told her,
go pray first.
then she still insisted.
so I said, which is more important? (shouting already)
then she replied that my
results were just as important.(slightly shouting)
then I like,
fine.
I showed it to her.
she was silent.
surprisingly.
then suddenly..
I don't have to say it.
I'm sure you all could have guess it?
so,
I was too lazy to entertain her.
I cried while I was showering.
I cried frigging hard
that my eyes just wanted to pop out.
then I sat by myself in the living room.
&just watched my tv.
before that,
I tried to tell her
that my hand was injured.
cause some !@%#@^$#@&%&$@*^$@**^$@* bastard
threw/kicked a bottle at me.
&it was the mouth piece that hitted me.
it was really hard.
ask Iman who was there.
ask Haikal,
all those who witness.
ask that
!@%#@^$#@&%&$@*^$@**^$@* bastard.
but when I told her,
she was too 'engross' with my report book.
&just replied: so?
I was like,
wtf.
that I shouted fine.
cause in my heart,
at that very moment..
it felt like as though
she doesn't care about me anymore.
my grades were more important to her.
why?
for my own future?
for my own good?
FUCK IT, IT AIN'T.
ITS TO GIVE HER A GOOD FUCKING LIFE
IN THE FUTURE.
SO SHE COULD RETIRE
&DEPEND ON ME TO GIVE HER
ALL THE WEALTH SHE WANTS.
that's how I truly felt.
so I simply cried through the night.
surpisingly,
with Iman too.
Today:I'm having dance today.
from 2-5pm.
but will be meeting
Iman&Nazurah
in school at 12pm.
they have drama.
oh&
Clarence,
Happy Birthday :Dp/s: don't
hou lian x)
